My heart is not vengeful, it can hold no anger
Not when it feels you are still in danger.
The pressure is mounting, I feel your edge
You are on the breaking point, you see the ledge.

How much can your heart take?
I do not wish to test it.
Not after your loved-ones,
have failed to protect it.

You are a lamb, away from the herd,
the shepherd does not hear your murmur,
He is looking for you, this you must believe,
You spend your life wondering if he will succeed.

Good things come to those who wait,
All you must do is rely on your faith,
Those who preach are not those who practice,
the road is long, and your path seems mapless.

You walk like a blind man, relying on touch,
relying on feeling, but with no one to trust.
You do not speak and you do not say,
That from which you want to run away.

You have seen betryal, you have seen destruction,
You have lived in the essence of dysfunction,
You have fallen in love, and been broken down,
You have tried to hear your heartbeat, and not heard a sound.

I hope one day you look in her eyes and feel sane,
I hope you think of her and no longer feel pain,
I hope you never forget to believe your crazy dreams,
I hope you never have to hold back another scream.

I hope your laugh is still melodic like I remember
I hope your heart will never surrender
I hope you find the happiness that is long overdue,
I hope you stay strong…I hope you stay you.

Your memory makes me smile, even after all this time
You and your laugh, those rare moments
where you felt careless enough,
to let it all go…

It is what it is, I have grown to accept,
There is absolutely nothing else to it,
But I still don’t understand…

Where is the phone? I hold it in my hand
I toss it to the floor,
tears stain my pillow, I scream into the feathers,
Where are you now?

I need to be strong, I wish you could see
How my heart is struggling,
how my hands are shaking,
tied behind my back.

I wish you could watch me,
Not for satisfaction, and not for your pity,

My baby, my angel, something is stabbing my heart,
make it stop, make it stop,
I feel like the world is spinning
and I am standing still,
looking for you in the dark,
grasping for your shoulders
Where are you now?

Do not look at me,
I will melt

“”If we choose
we can live in a world of
comforting illusion”"

My comforting illusions,
like pixie dust thrown into the wind,

My comforting illusion,
that you still…

Where are you now?

It is urgent, I need a paper and I need a pen
What have we done? Incomprehension spills over like the ink on my page,
Nuestra historia la mas bella, my love
Under the torrid sun, before your icy-burnt stare,
Life began the moment I touched you
I was writing our story, every detail and every thought,
Pain and heart ache, all of it made me stop,
it is much later now, have I not grown?
Mother sees right through my soul.

Mornings I wake up with an aching heart,
where did we go wrong?
When did we forget to sing our song?
When did we forget,
the night we met,
the love that bound us,
the heartbeats of our lust?

Youth, bliss, unforgettable nights,
your laugh echoes through me,
your voice…a melody that drives my days.

They smile and nod,
warn me against our love,
hold me back, tie me to a chair,
beat me with sticks made of guilt,
“”Don’t you remember?”" they ask
But their cautionary words do not last.

Everyone would die for someone,
perhaps they understand
what it is to love,
But they were not there,
they did not feel the night air,
they did not see my tear fall heavily
upon your cheek
they did not feel your heartbeat,
they did not see your hands
smoothing out my black hair,
speaking of our wedding
between blank stares into emptiness

What were you looking at?
What did you uncover?They do not know, and so…

How can they speak?

Yo conozco tus defectos
tus más íntimos secretos
No saben nada…

Perhaps we are the ones who know nothing,
walking above the world
like we know better.

Perhaps we must descend from our place in the clouds,
stare away from this beautiful view,
it is far too dangerous,
like falling into the stormy sea by midnight glow.

Time is passing, the sun is waking again,
We did not sleep that night,
I will never forget
The day I changed, the day I left.

Perhaps this is necessary,
le coeur doit souffrir pour s’embellir,
How can it be so far away,
but feel like yesterday?

Perhaps we are the ones who know nothing,
and tomorrow we will look at ourselves and laugh,
and hold somebody’s hand,

skip out into yet another chapter
This book never ends
You will never put down your pen
this is your life,
But I will say no more,
Ma ba’ rah ehkeh
La chu? Taro el kalimeit maa el rih…

Just like our story,
but we are left…
with our hair undone
our documents unfolded,
our memories molded,

Nos quedamos sin nada, pero todo.
Il ne nous reste rien, mais tout.
Ma be’eh chi, be’eh kel chi.
We are left with nothing, but with everything.

I tried to fight it that night,
rejected the thought of you with all my might,
But I was weak before you
I will not deny
I let you infiltrate my being,
I let you lie.

I have made you many promises,
that I will always keep,
My anger has not clouded my memory,
I look before I leap.

You have been beaten down,
and bruised to the bone,
stay strong my eagle,
and see how you have grown…

Your heavy heart does not hold you back,
your entire life awaits,
never lose your compassion
do not forget your faith.

I have not forgotten,
but how can I not forgive?
There is so much more
I have left to give

It is quite easy to say
that I would have been happier,
without your inequal love in the way

But I would not have been myself,
had I never tried…
to reach into your soul, and look into your eyes.

Everyone’s got a story to break your heart,
and I had wanted to fight your battles,
I had nothing in my heart left to lose
So I tried walking a mile in your shoes

Where are you now? I no longer ask
I am grateful to have had you for the short time passed,

You say no one can help you
but maybe you are mistaken
Maybe you’ve seen one too many
promises broken…

No doubt in my mind, I do not regret,
Because I know, that even for a moment, I helped you forget.

<3

Aucune promesse, aucun réconfort, ne rien savoir
de toute façon, tu n’as pas le droit,
Mais c’est bien connu, ce que tu te donnes
ce que tu laisses t’appartenir, sans penser,
sans difficulté.
Jamais contre toi, je suis là pour te couver,
te protéger d’une tempête du nord,
d’un ouragan du sud…
Quelques fois je ne le vois pas arriver,
et alors tes blessures, je les soulage.
Je ne suis pas médecin, mais l’amour m’a donné
quelques tactiques, quelques remèdes…
à quoi bon?

J’attends le Soleil désespéramment,
il ne vient jamais assez rapidement,
tu sens sa lenteur, je veux te tenir dans mes bras
te chuchoter que l’orage
il est bientôt passé
que ton cauchemar,
a une fin comme il a un début…

de toute façon,

Dieu donne trop de pouvoir,
à ceux qui ne le méritent pas.

It is still fresh inside you, something is moving, stillness is not yet set.
A wound, a gaping hole into nothing, into your everything…

Eyes, dry, but today you are not blind.
Anger, dissipated, but today you break a glass.
What happened in the meadow of your alma matter?
What has it disrupted, and what no longer skips worry-free like angels?
Is it still a gray area, or have you found the contrast
of white on white? What is it now? What is in there now?

I can hold your head in my hands,
pull the hair as I kiss you,
I can slap you across the face
and put your hand to my heart.

But what will it change? What has happened?

I know it is not over, your voice is naked
Like tree branches on the eve of winter
like the cold wind.
But I will not step down, not this time.
I have learned courage, I have learned strength.
I have learned to feel like I am light as a cloud,
Hell I’ve been over them, I’ve seen their cotton-like texture at my feet,
then I realized it only meant I was falling
and I will soon be hitting the pavement.

Heavy heart, your rough hands around me,
my shoulders are wet now, your heaving breath,
I feel your fingers bite into the skin on my back,
your teeth sinking into my shoulder blade,
I squint, it hurts, but you need it…
you need this,
you inhale, and you exhale,
let it go…let it go.

Un petit bourgeon sur la tige d’un arbre nu, d’un arbre que le temps a fatigué, que l’amour a devêti – un petit bourgeon discret, mais bien présent, bien en vue, bien à risque…un petit bourgeon dangereux. Je le touche à peine, j’y pose mes doigts discrètement, et puis c’est une fleur; elle est blanche, elle est jolie, elle est fragile – il a plu aujourd’hui dans notre petit pré sacré, la pluie sur mon visage, le brouillard se lève, te dissimule derrière son rideau lourd et sans remords. J’attends patiemment de t’apercevoir à nouveau. Pour toi…une grande compassion, une grande admiration, pour toi mon petit bourgeon.

Et si j’avais raison?

On nous le dit pourtant, de ne s’attendre à rien du tout,
ni pour mal et ni pour le bien.
De toute façon, rien n’est certain.
Chaque jour, je me fais une promesse, de revenir à ce que j’étais
Sans pourtant t’oublier.
Mais comment jouer à la comédie?
Ni mon corps, ni mon âme ne sont convaincus.

Nous faisons semblant de savoir,
d’être des êtres sages, d’être des fossiles que le temps a gardé intacts,
bien préservés sous des épaisseurs infinies d’expérience,
de torture, d’abus, de bonheur mérité.

Un jour, ils descendront…
Ils nous diront que nous avions tort, que nous ne savons rien.
J’essaiera toujours et à jamais de me faufiler
dans les recoins de ton âme, pour la guérir comme je peux
comme je t’aime.

La barrière que tu as érigé me repousse, bravo,
comme un choc électrique. Je veux te faire remarquer,
que tu es bien trop replié sur toi-même
qu’il y a le monde, beau comme toi, peut être moins,
mais tu ne comprendras pas, jamais tu ne comprends.

Quelle est cette voix que j’écoute à maintes reprises,
mille et une nuits à choisir mes mots, à être docile
bien à toi, à t’approcher silencieument, pas un bruit…
des pas de souris.

Peu importe, rien n’importe,
je te donnerais mon bonheur, s’il s’expédiait comme un rire.
Essais inutiles
Affection perdue dans l’espace
écho de ta voix
Oubli de la mienne
Promesses pâles
Portrait de soi gourmand
Assurance volatile
Amour perpétuel
Inquiet inconnditionnel

Et si j’avais raison?

One more blank page spread before me;
strange how it can seem so empty and so lonely, in the absence of words
but how it can also seem so beautiful in it’s nakedness,
like an eager canvas waiting to be dressed.
I dress it slowly, like a sleeping child…
in lively colors, like autumn leaves crunching under my steps
Like the turquoise of a cuban beach,
like your eyes, like your smile.

Sometimes, the skies will threaten me in my lively fever,
and the canvas will change.
I then discover one thousand shades of gray
crouching in the darkness
and deep shades of green slithering past like the skins of a million serpents,
the blood-red of destruction and deception,
your pain and your anger.

And so my naked canvas awaits unknowingly, perpetually anxious.
Laugh, my love, and let the wind carry the music notes in your soul.

Scream, my angel, and I will paint the valleys of your sorrows.

My canvas is no longer blank, life has tainted it.
But the sun has not yet set, and so this art is not yet over…
Let me see into those eyes,
colors of grassy fields, sunny meadows, summer parks.
You must tell me now what is left to fill on this nervous canvas
so it may smile and follow me into my dreams.

Sunrise will come again, blank page, words, colors,
you and a million dreams.

<3

Ce soir, avec toi, j’éteins tout,
je veux entendre ta voix, prendre ta main,
discuter de ton passé, apaiser ta douleur
car je ne te mens pas, j’ai mal aussi…
Ta main sur mon coeur, tes dents sur mon épaule
tu veux crier, je le sens dans tes muscles,
je le sens dans les miens.
Ta vie, une série de défis,
une série d’amours, de souvenirs,
tu les construis toujours…

ce n’est pas encore temps pour
ton petit drapeau blanc.

Un paradis sans pareil,
dans tes bras
le sens-tu encore? Tu es fatigué,
exténué, relève-toi
avec la force que j’ai aimé dans tes yeux
réponds-moi, ris encore une fois
Mon bonheur en dépend.
Cesse de t’inquiéter,
car la vie te fait face, ne tremble plus
Personne ne verra, mais je te retiendrai

J’aime ton âme, j’aime ton coeur
J’aime tes yeux et j’aime ta douleur.